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Backpacker Blues (LP)

by Bee Appleseed

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1.
This Must Be Life 04:16
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What is this form that I have taken? I do not recall asking for this But now I’m here, I am alive; I have dreams to realize And though it’s a very heavy burden of life, I must try Yeah, I must try to live or be ready to die So now I’m dying to live Oh this must be life Oh this must be life Oh this must be life And how much water is in your well? To put out the fire that’s in your hell? Well, it’s not about the problems that you know It’s how you cope It's how you cope And I’ve spent my existence just trying to be happy And though that may be unrealistic, I’m still going to try For we can be a waste and let ourselves down Or do nothing about it and hope that it all works out But that’s not the answer that I’ve come to realize And I’m dying to live Oh this must be life Oh this must be life Oh this must be life And how much water is in your well? To put out the fire that’s in your hell? Well, it’s not about the problems that you know It’s how you cope It's how you cope
2.
Trying To Remain 04:22
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Should I be profound in conversation? Is that what you’re expecting? Should I conquer the room with every word that I say? Well I’ll maintain my lack of elegance if it means you won’t dissect me For I am just trying to remain And you say you thought I’d be different, well why don’t you tell that to a mirror? I’m sure there are a million stooges that would happily fill my place So line up for registration and you too can be a pseudo intellectual Meanwhile I’m just trying to remain And you claim to love music, but you’re only listening to your radio You say you’re well read, but only if it’s critically acclaimed And I should have headed the warnings not to dance with those I can see through But I am just trying to remain And you suggest the grass may be greener, but this can’t be true in all directions For some places have no offerings, but only stains And if you can't read between the lines, then you might as well be illiterate Allthewhile I'm just trying to remain And what happened to all the men that you said you respected? Have they evaporated by morning along with the rain? Well you know that even G-d never paid any child support Meanwhile I’m just trying to remain And there’s no need to get too upset, it’s just a minor loss of freedom Or at least that’s what you said when the Moldovans had me detained And now I’m trying, I’m trying so hard just to forget you For it’s the only way I know to remain it’s the only way I know to remain it’s the only way I know to remain it’s the only way I know to remain
3.
21st Century Poet 04:18
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21st Century Poet Your pretensions speak louder than the thoughts in your head Though the craft of word arrangement as you’ve learned of is dead You’re a shrinking necessity, yet you don’t seem to show it For you’re a 21st century poet And these intellectual undertakings you so boastfully claim Are merely jesters to an old kingdom that you’d wished to have reigned But rather than irrelevance, it’s your condition you notice For you’re a 21st century poet Yeah, you’re a 21st century poet And you complain of your empty wallet from behind a fine cigarette For only these you can afford for they help you to forget All the ones you loved so deeply who didn’t even know it For you’re a 21st century poet And you’ve skimmed just enough to say you’re well read And become every character or at least in your head Now your muse is your arrogance and you’re hopeless to control it For you’re a 21st century poet Yeah, you’re a 21st century poet You’re a 21st century poet You’re a 21st century poet And your endurance into extinction is your only will to live For you’re a 21st century poet Yeah you’re just a 21st century poet
4.
Dear, It's You 03:52
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If you want to play the part of the attacker Don’t get offended when I’m obliged to defend There’s no need to mourn your disposition When it’s the one that you have created Yet you wear your burdens as a crown of sorrows And claim that those better off are rubbing salt in your wounds And you look about to whom to point your finger But dear it’s you, dear it’s you Dear it’s you, dear it’s you And with each encounter, you’re seeking persuasion To conform the masses to your narrow point-of-view But when outwitted, you so quickly surrender Yet you never learn and you don’t desire to And it’s apparent you’re personified ignorance The looks of which till now I never knew But if asked, I could easily produce an illustration For dear it’s you, dear it’s you Oh dear it’s you, dear it’s you But don’t come back to me so apologetic Saying, “I never meant to cause the harm that I always do” For if you’re so serious then how come you always forget it? Is it your selective amnesia or some other excuse? Well now you’re angry I refuse to repeat the process As if some great injustice is all I ever do But any rational person would redirect their anger For dear it’s you, dear it’s you Oh dear it’s you, dear it’s you
5.
The Messenger 03:49
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I am just the messenger; I hold no insight into the content I bring Bearing no great wisdom; just this vessel from which I sing For the only truths I hold do not belong to me Yes, I know not the heart of the voyage as I am just the wings So here take my body, take all you want from me But leave me my hope that I shall one day wander free And these matters of love that you speak of, they matter not to me For I’ve never known this quest you’ve obsessed; I’ve only loved in the 2nd degree But I’ll deliver you your prescriptions for these pleasures you so desperately seek And I’ll leave them on your doorstep for that’s as far as I can reach So here take my body, take all you want from me But leave me my hope that I shall one day wander free And I have known many prophets, great wise men they believe Whose importance I’ve read is all in their heads, who bear the soil but not the seed They who think that their birth simply proves their worth and with death, great sorrow they’ll bring But we are all just the messengers; we are mere footnotes in history So here take my body, take all you want from me But leave me my hope that I shall one day wander free
6.
I Don't Really Mind 05:17
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She was an architect in the world she created An artist in all she could see And now she designs for the angels and the peasants In hopes that they may soon set her free And I slept in her garden of eden I lied naked in her stillness of time And now she's left me longing for a moment Oh but I don't really mind Oh but I don't really mind Now in my place lies the ruins of a flower And hourglass calling me back in the night For her letters, they continue to grow older When her words are all I can find And these memories are all I remember My fingertips on the silhouette of her spine For nostalgia is the only world I can enter Oh but I don't really mind Oh but I don't really mind I don't really mind being gone with nothing but my thoughts As long as one of them is thinking of her I don't really mind being gone with nothing but my thoughts As long as one of them is thinking of her And does my scent still cling to her pillow? Or was it washed away by the tears from her eyes? Well, there's no need to mimic a weeping willow For a star that was just shooting by Yet there's still hope that love may be constant For the thought is not too hard to surmise And now we're left to linger at a distance Oh but I don't really mind Oh but I don't really mind I don't really mind being gone with nothing but my thoughts As long as one of them is thinking of her I don't really mind being gone with nothing but my thoughts As long as one of them is thinking of her I don't really mind being gone with nothing but my thoughts As long as one of them is thinking of her I don't really mind being gone with nothing but my thoughts As long as one of them is thinking of her
7.
Leaning 03:24
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I lean for the love of an angel For the beauty I never approached For the teeth, which cling to my earlobes For the salvation I never could know And I carry the burden of confidence Forgotten when I step off the stage For I’m only asking for directions If you have the time to show me the way To your ominous well, which hides in yourself Secluded from the world that you see And I'll drink from your cup if you can spare me enough That I may be drunk until I am sweet For these are the hands, which long to write plans That the lips are unable to read For the lips and the brain are more often the same Than these hands with their patience to think And if this is the reason, please forgive me for treason For never knowing the right words to say For I lean out so much that I have nothing to touch But your footprints when you walk away
8.
Graveyard 05:22
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I’ve been living off of offerings In exchange for my time Noticing that in every village I pass through, there’s a shrine Growing used to the journey The temporary conversations Though this is not the life I was born for, it’s what's mine Such a strange reality Beyond my wildest dreams Growing up to float down such a narrow stream For I only reach a handful But that’s more than acceptable Yeah I’m destined for no destination or so I believe And now we’re sittin’ in a graveyard Lookin’ for bones They’ll be around long after their stories have been told And I’m used to the memories But not this feeling Of knowing this is all that there was to know And I’ve had enough of talking Yes, I’m ready to listen So let’s please reverse the direction of this exchange of words Oh say something crazy Perhaps a brief life history But if we only talk about ourselves, we’ll never learn For now we’re sittin’ in a graveyard Lookin’ for bones They’ll be around long after their stories have been told And I’m used to the memories But not this feeling Of knowing this is all that there was to know And we’ve been acting like everything is so permanent We use words like “forever” and “always” though they’re not true So I’ve been learning just to exist in this moment To enjoy this life that I’ve been passing through Now we’re sittin’ in a graveyard Lookin’ for bones They’ll be around long after their stories have been told And I’m used to the memories But not this feeling Of knowing this is all that there was to know Oh now we’re sittin’ in a graveyard Lookin’ for bones They’ll be around long after their stories have been told And I’m used to the memories But not this feeling Of knowing this is all that there was to know

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released July 20, 2018

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Bee Appleseed Los Angeles, California

Bee Appleseed is a prolific songwriter, music producer, multi-instrumentalist, poet, singer, comedian, and seasoned vagabond from Canby, Oregon, living in Los Angeles, California.

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