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Conscious Conscience // Voluntary Exile (LP)

by Bee Appleseed

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1.
In a life on the road one encounters many folks Some the serious type while others but a joke And it makes that one realize that you’re not the world’s hope And there are many different ways of living So what do you have to do just to be heard? We’ve been living almost forever and we have nothing more than words We’ve tried everything but taking action and nothing seems to work Oh how much longer must we continue in this existence? But I tried, Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live Oh I’ll make you an offer take it or leave it But first tell me which invisible man do you believe in? There is a statue which points to the Holy Grail in Turin Though it seems rather accusing when you approach it Now Kaiser Wilhelm once said “find a woman who likes beer” “And I will conquer the world if you bring her right here” And they must have found one or so it would appear As he made an honest attempt to keep his promise But I tried, I tried Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live But to the offer again, my steps I must retrace I will be a servant to you if you vow not to be waste For we should be full of substance rather than act as drains From which a flood of nothing pours out And I’ve seen men with their faces painted white As a means to somehow disguise their whole entire life Speaking vain emptiness as a form of exercise While the people look on and call it art But I tried, Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live And at celebrations for something locally achieved Some mysterious crowds of people have approached me Talking about the places I’ve been and where I’ll be Saying “here are the pros and cons of each location” Now in some Swiss village I drank fine Italian wine On a terrace over dinner and talked for quite some time With a Brazilian man who was frankly quite surprised That I knew anything at all about his culture But I tried, I tried Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live And in French cities I found women in need of charity Leaning on their broken crutches through eyes that barely see Requesting only salvation in exchange for a fee Before their religion closed it’s doors until the morning Now there must be a way off of it I guess For what are all these circumstance of which we obsess? And for the man that we see as a living, breathing death Well, I guess we would call him a tombstoner But I tried, Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live And a little while back in London I believe Perhaps Trafalgar Square or Westminster Abbey A man blew fire from a horn for a crowd to hear and see As they said, “here is a coin, thanks for your service.” And I saw cities upon cities upon cities down below Taking pleasure in the new and forgetting what was old As we wonder why we’ve lost what we used to know Perhaps it’s because we were distracted by the heavens But I tried, I tried Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live Now I sit on a train as other folks yell on the phone But the words that they’re saying I couldn’t possibly know For I am but a passenger in a life that has shown To be absolutely endless and full of mystery And to live with a purpose one must be ready to die To show that there was meaning existing in their life And I know that you would always give it a try Only to have me say I wasn’t serious But I tried, Please believe I really did I went halfway ‘round the world just to figure out how to live Oh I saw people dressed up wearing flags of the states As I’m wondering if they really know about this place Where they claim to be free and home of the brave But mostly they are incredibly loud and full of ignorance Now I’ll show you how to live if you’re ready to try Yeah you are oh I can see it right there in your eyes But first you must observe that there is little significance in life And there are indeed many different ways of living
2.
I heard them talking the whole day through Oh they must run the country or know people that do Oh who do they think they’re fooling in those business suits? They’re just some well dressed criminals with they’re eye on you And what they can’t con away is someone else’s flaw For how are they supposed to rob the country with such stringent laws? “It’s not right for the people!” they argue on both sides And with enough money behind their words why would they lie? So vote for the candidate of the party for he’s one of us and not one of them Vote for the candidate of the party so there can be a party to congratulate him Such a surprising sight in the home of the brave Where we’ve abolished slavery yet we still have slaves And if you’ve got something to say, well you got every right But if you actually speak, prepare to be gassed on sight Now I know the difference between lies and truth But from their words it appears very few of them do For how could they say that we truly are free When you can still legally buy democracy? So vote for the candidate of the party for he’s one of us and not one of them Vote for the candidate of the party so there can be a party to congratulate him Oh their ears are wide open so what you say goes right through For unless you have money, you won’t be listened to So pick one or the other for there must be one who wins Just as long as it’s not one of them Oh, just give us back our rights Oh, do you place no value on human life? Oh, who do we have to pay? Oh, so that you’ll actually listen to what we say? So vote for the candidate of the party for he’s one of us and not one of them Vote for the candidate of the party so there can be a party to congratulate him
3.
Oh I loved you for awhile but now I see we are too different for each other And it was great I don’t deny, but I just don’t see a future with us together And I was with you for all of my life Until now when I’ve begun to realize That I was seeing with such a narrow sight And now it’s clear that there is no compromise Well, you boasted your freedoms so often that you didn’t see them go away And with you is no better than without you, I can honestly say But I know that I won’t be missed much For soon we’ll be completely out of touch I’ll just be less weight upon your crutch Though that’s not saying much And I’m gone now can’t you see? So there’s no need to keep the light on for me For there’s always a point when enough is enough So goodbye, America Perhaps someday I will return but only to get a few of my things So don’t get your hopes up because I really have no intentions to stay And though my mother misses me I know that she would agree That everyone has their own life to lead And we call that destiny So I’m gone now can’t you see? Yeah, there’s no need to keep the light on for me For there’s always a point when enough is enough So goodbye, America Yeah I’m gone now can’t you see? So there’s no need to keep the light on for me For there’s always a point when enough is enough So goodbye, America
4.
Shots ring out They’ve got the innocent and our society is doomed! And we ask the stupid question, "How’d this happen?" For we just don’t know what to do And the NRA suggests police in the halls Not realizing what that would cost While they also want low taxes for all Oh do they know the difference between the government and Santa Claus? But the worst thing we could do is follow Westboro and praise our gods For if you’re looking for idiot incarnate, there’s no need to look further on And I wonder if it’s a hidden camera show For surely society hasn’t sunk that low And when the KKK is the voice of reason, we all fold For evolution is supposed to go forwards, you know? And all the while it’s just the same The aftermath is always a game It’s a simple process so often replayed It starts with shock, confusion, grief, and then hate As we await the refrain Turning on the television, we see the president has tears in his eyes The voice of the nation pleading reform in response to surprise So that maybe we’ll get a sympathetic law To come from a congress that’s so blind to right and wrong Quoting the second’s permission to bear arms Written by those who couldn’t have foreseen such harm For if our forefathers knew of modern weapons, would there be any debate? With the resulting consequence opposing the intentions of keeping people safe Written strictly for militias to have To fight the government if the situation was so bad That the only resolution would be combat Oh there can’t be anything more unrealistic than that And still the situation’s the same The aftermath is always a game It’s a simple process so often replayed It starts with shock, confusion, grief, and then hate As we await the refrain Too scared now to return, I’d rather keep my European security I might not know anyone, but at least I’m not being killed by insanity So I’m in exile now I suppose Volunteering my time to my hopes That one day I’ll be able to know I won’t make a victim list back home But it’s quite ridiculous to think that security could ever be restored In a country that must hold the record for engaging in the most amount of wars Where half the taxes go to defense And I’m honestly quite frightened by this Oh do we need a military dictatorship To realize how much of a problem it is? And all the while it’s just the same The aftermath is always a game It’s a simple process so often replayed It starts with shock, confusion, grief, and then hate As we await the refrain
5.
Black Gold 04:18
The owners of your country want to sell off your soul Reminding all the people of who’s really in control Well I got out of there before it was too late to go I saw their never-ending quest and the power that they hold Now they got the people hooked, got them down on their knees No one is the wiser not to eat what’s in the feed But I’ll tell you son you must be blind if you don’t already know That those who got the money now have got you by the throat Searching for that Black gold Now someone call a doctor; it appears someone thinks too much We’ve got some sort of wise guy and we know exactly what he wants Well, if you don’t want any trouble I suggest you step along We wouldn’t want to put that pretty face to end up where it belongs And they’re searching for that Just searching for that Black gold So where are you taking me? I was only speaking truth I had a taste of your medicine and I know what’s in the brew Oh is this the way you treat the ones who question what you say? Could you please get your hands off of me and put those guns away? And stop searching for that Stop searching for that Black gold Now I must declare that I misspoke, I was blind but now I see It’s them not me that was correct; dear god you must believe I was asking only for trouble and that’s what I received So don’t mistake me for your leader; oh for my sake don’t follow me And no more searching for that No searching for that Black gold
6.
Hypocrisy 05:45
7.
Look me in the eyes and tell me what is right Come on I dare you Prove your worth and stand behind every word Oh what does that scare you? Oh you're a politician now, I see So should we not take you seriously? Oh you weren't speaking literally Well that really cleared it all up for me And I know you, but you don't know me So why should I believe that you can decide what I need? So go on and make up another name To make your story seem like it has credibility I nearly fell to the floor when I heard you Set a new standard for stupidity Claiming you built a nation When I doubt that you ever planted a seed And that the people put their hopes in you Is absolutely insane to me But I guess it goes to show That you really can buy democracy And I know you, but you don't know me So why should I believe that you can decide what I need? So go on and make up another name To make your story seem like it has credibility
8.
You had the world’s hopes and now you have their fears They’re starting to ask those silly questions about what’s been going on since you’ve been here And I don’t want to judge but you know it would appear That the foundation of your house of cards is starting to disappear And you’re maintaining a healthy surveillance on your people near and far You claim it’s for their safety, but we all know that’s a farce And you’ve wired up your kingdom, now you’re watching it explode It’s just a day in the life of Jesus Jones Well I suppose life is a game of probability, at least if you’re not rich You can shoot for the stars but you’re more likely to end up in a ditch And if you make it to the top with plans to change the mix You might as well add your name to your list of problems to be fixed So you applaud yourself as you sign your almighty name You make sure it’s televised to show your children cavalcade Then you see your opponents smirk and you ask, “what’s the joke?” As they reply, “another day in the life of Jesus Jones” And when your false progress is mentioned you’re pressed for an excuse You say, “it’s them” and they say, “no, it’s you” As everyone else is asking, “Why don’t you all do what you’re supposed to do?” “Instead of pointing, perhaps you could put yourself to some other use” So now you’re losing your charm as they’re losing their shit You try to change the subject by addressing current events But when they reverse it and ask who did and didn’t know You find you’re living a day in the life of Jesus Jones You meet a man they call the chef and you ask him what can he cook He pauses for a moment and with a smile says, “just the books” You say “are you serious? You mean you’re a crook?” Then he writes you a check for a fraction of what he took Now your supporters are furious and even flaunting your fail You point to the free market and they point to jail And if you’re wondering what it’s like to have those who love you at your throat Just spend a day in the life of Jesus Jones Oh but I guess a round of handshakes is the customary deed They’ll say you’re a villain and then they’ll bow down at your feet You’ve become a caricature of yourself, a tabloid celebrity For they love you, they hate you, they need you, they need you to leave Now your position itself is taking its toll The occupational stress exuding like cigarettes for the soul And you ask now who’s calling and they say, “just pick up the phone!” For it’s another day in the life of Jesus Jones But as a master detractor, you’re no stranger to the drill They’ll say “look what is happening” and you’ll say, “look who I can kill” And as their approval is playing limbo, you stick your dissidents with the bill Acquiring irrefutable faith in your ability to sink lower still And sure it could be worse, but that’s not the point When it’s society that could you enhancing instead of your military toys But it’s a cycle of fear and as everyone starts to know You realize it’s only a day in the life of Jesus Jones
9.
I have bore witness to events that are not my business While exercising persistence and unintentionally improving fitness For it is not my mission to arrive in this position To talk as people listen for I am but a simple musician And I fear the future moving in While striving for perfection under constant dissection Others seeking motivation but end up with frustration Show me a saint who’s not a sinner or justified faith in a beginner An answer to all our problems from that new face whom wants to solve them Still I fear the future moving in For it doesn’t matter which platform you support Nor the reasons that you purport As each is but a stone in the wall Just elected to fall So look upon those with power, once obtained becoming sour Perhaps a mission cast upon us, to not keep what they promise Or maybe the position overwhelming, unaware of what they’re selling And you can say what you will, still you’re stuck with the bill And I fear the future moving in Finding solidarity demanding change, but none can be arranged Still having to work within the system, even though you are against them Trying to flee from oppression, but it’s in every direction And you may think you have some time still, but history works in cycles And so I fear the future moving in For it doesn’t matter which platform you support Nor the reasons that you purport As each is but a stone in the wall Just elected to fall

about

(Written October 2020)

Back in 2013, I had just finished college and was living in Europe reflecting on American politics and how disillusioned I'd become with where things were going. The first five songs were recorded in my apartment with Hannah Sheets in Vienna, Austria before I began a tour across 25 countries in Europe for five months straight, eventually arriving to Hostel Anton in Montenegro where I recorded "Hypocrisy" and finished writing the track "A Day In The Life Of Jesus Jones" that I recorded in Jasmina Glavinche's apartment in Skopje, Macedonia along with the last two other tracks to finish the album. The production was pretty minimal as I didn't have much to record with, but I did manage to get a lot out of what I had, playing guitar, bass, keyboards, and melodica with a number of vocal and guitar overdubs and mixing everything myself. In the current political environment, it's really great to listen back and reflect on as things haven't gotten better in this country since then, making the lyrics even more relevant. "Vote For The Candidate Of The Party" for example is about this moment in time that we're living in and how phony it is that we're sold a world of a million products to choose from but only a couple of choices when it comes to political candidates who notoriously never deliver on what they promise. "A Day In The Life Of Jesus Jones" was about the president at the time, but honestly it's about this president too or any other one as "Another False Political Prophet" paints a pretty clear picture of the lengths politicians will go to appear relatable. Perhaps the catchiest track is "The Future Moving In" which is one I wrote in Helsinki in April 2013, while walking around in the snow thinking about the direction our American politics were headed. Being a perpetual optimist however, I do believe things indeed going to get better if we are willing to ensure that change is made. Praying for good vibes. Enjoy the journey.

credits

released October 20, 2013

Recorded, mixed, all songs written, sang, and instruments played by Bee. Mastered by Andrew Endres with artwork by Brett Olivieri.

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Bee Appleseed Los Angeles, California

Bee Appleseed is a prolific songwriter, music producer, multi-instrumentalist, poet, singer, comedian, and seasoned vagabond from Canby, Oregon, living in Los Angeles, California.

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